Wednesday, 26 May 2010

Movie Review: Avatar


If there was ever a case for style over substance then James Cameron’s epic, sci-fi action adventure Avatar would certainly be it.  There’s no doubt that it’s a slice of visual, audio and cinematic excellence. In fact many a cinema goer is more than keen to tell anyone who cares to listen that ‘the only way to experience Avatar is in 3D’.  Well I can’t comment on ‘Avatar 3D’, but what I do know is that all the visual splendour and breathtaking special effects in the world can’t take away the fact that Avatar is as shallow, hackneyed and mind numbingly boring as movies come.


Essentially, and if we're honest, Avatar is nothing more than a tech demo from the world of cinema; a look at what the future might hold for visual and audio effects on the big screen. To see the many, many brilliant nuances that bring the world of Pandora and all that dwell therein to life is nothing short of spectacular, but to laud it as the Citizen Kane of the 21st Century when it’s anything but is laughable.

The story trips and stumbles from one clunky set piece to the next and never really finds its footing as it tries desperately to get you to care for, well, whoever is in need of caring I guess.  Worse still, the whole tale finds itself drowning in some of the most embarrassingly toe curling dialogue to grace a movie since Arnold Schwarzenegger’s first speech as Governor of California.  Trying to empathise with any of the characters, (whether it’s the two dimensional, stereotypical humans or the, quite frankly, painfully dim-witted blue skinned giants of Pandora, the Na’vi), is a tiresome task, one that actually leaves you feeling exhausted to the point that you no longer give a toss as to what happens to any of them.  In Star Wars when the Death Star blew up Princess Leia’s home planet of Alderaan they just got the wrong planet; it should have been Pandora.


At best Avatar is what a re-make of ‘Dances with Wolves’ would have looked liked had Disney been behind the wheel but had forgotten to add lovable characters, a musical score and a sprinkling of that Disney magic.  Arguable it’s entirely possibly to watch Cameron's visual spectaculaire! with the sound on mute and still have a complete grasp of what’s actually going on.

As for the film garnering critical acclaim from pretty much every film critic the world over?  Well, that can most certainly be put down to a case of the Emperors New Clothes.

4/10

Sunday, 23 May 2010

Game Review: Dead to Rights: Retribution-PS3, Xbox 360

With its dark, compelling tale of love, loss and sacrifice, a tale brought together all the more sharply with its excellently paced and erudite narrative, Heavy Rain showed that video games can appeal to a much wider and mature audience without the need of gimmicky peripherals. Or in the case of Namco’s Dead to Rights: Retribution, gallons of blood and constant, poorly placed profanity.

Taking on the role of maverick cop Jack Slate and his K-9 companion Shadow, you begin the game as the aforementioned Shadow protecting a severely wounded Jack. On completion of this opening segment Jack begins to tell his tale via a series of chapter based flashbacks dealing with the events leading up to his father’s murder and thereafter. Your main objective is the apprehension of a mysterious villain who has been working with local hoods ‘The Union’ and who has also been involved in some shady dealings with the Chinese Mafia as well as key members on the board of police. For all its clich├ęd plot and schlock scripting, Dead to Rights: Retribution does deliver the solid makings of a good old fashion tale of revenge. Out of context it’s stupid, hammy and over the top, but here in this reimaging of the 2002 game of the same name it serves its purpose in carrying Jack through his relentless, violence fuelled mission to avenge his father’s death. Where the game really fails is in execution and design.

On the whole the game sports some fairly decent looking character models and visual effects, but as a complete package it struggles to rise above being anything other than mediocre. All the blood, guts, guns and foul language in the world aren’t going to cover up the many failings of Namco’s latest offering. Camera angles sweep and turn erratically, whether you’re in combat with multiple opponents or moving quickly through one of the linear, albeit impressive looking, decaying environments. The slightest overreach on the analogue stick will see the camera jerk and spin uncontrollably leaving you disorientated and confused. As is easy to imagine this isn’t very helpful when you’re hot on the tail of any one of the games boss characters, or surrounded by a group of henchmen-all of whom are intent on caving in our would be hero’s skull. AI characters become stuck in their routines, downed enemies float and spin on the spot and collision detection is questionable at best. The list goes on.



But fist fights are brutal, and unashamedly so. Punches and kicks hit home with a blood curdling smack sending gouts of claret in every direction. Bones break and tendons pop as Jack rains down blow upon blow onto his enemies like some drunken thug outside a nightclub on a Saturday night. Upon reaching a set quota of melee combos, Jack can unleash one of his many gruesome finishing moves which again are visceral in their execution and often result in one or more important bones being broken or, more amusingly, several swift kicks to the family jewels. When close enough to any gun wielding gangbanger, Jack can also perform a disarm movement. Disarming an opponent involves nothing more than a simple tap of the X button which results in their weapon being torn from their grasp before finishing the job with a bullet straight to the head. Sadly character animation is twitchy and often unresponsive making much of Jack’s repertoire in the heat of battle completely redundant. Even with a counter attack and guard break at your disposal you’ll often find yourself randomly hammering away at the buttons until each one of Jack’s aggressors are permanently put out of action.


Whereas in Manhunt the act of suffocating your pursuers with a plastic bag, or cleaving their head with a blunt hand axe are ultimately far more vicious when it comes to the dispatching of ones foes, it never really relishes in the moment and is arguably justifiable within the context of the narrative. In DTR: Retribution, however, our protagonist takes great pleasure in the disposing of hoodlums and seemingly does so for no other justifiable reason than being a police officer. Even before the murder of his father, Jack has a pageant for dealing out brutal sentences on anyone who unfortunately steps into his path. Snap someone’s neck to the tune of unpleasant gurgling closely followed by a spray of crimson gore and you’ll be rewarded with a string of profanities and any number of ‘tough guy’ one-liners. It’s not that it’s offensive or in bad taste, far from it, it’s just ridiculous to the point of being embarrassing and in no way does it endear you to Detective Jack Slate or his plight. As such, this over use of macho posturing feels very much a step back for adult themed video games where a level of violence plays an integral part in the overall tale. On the one had DTR: Retribution wants to be taken seriously with it’s tale of revenge and righteous indignation and on the other it wants to be the subway scene from Capcom’s Final Fight. Unfortunately it doesn’t sit comfortably in either camp and it isn't long before you no longer care as to what happens to Jack-or anyone else involved for that matter. This is more ‘50 Cent: Blood in the Sand’ than ‘Gears of War’.

Like many current developers, Volatile Games have incorporated a cover system into their 3rd person shooter and for the best part it ticks all the right boxes. Jack can shoot around corners, blind fire over the top of walls etc and zip from one area of cover to the next while avoiding gunfire. Jack also has the ability to leap over said cover to perform a mid-air stomp on any hapless villain hiding behind it. Again though, the use of snapping in and out of cover is poorly executed and you’ll often find our protagonist refusing to snap onto a wall or barrier just when you need it most leaving our trigger happy cop exposed to a relentless barrage of bullets.

The ‘Focus’ ability, (which allows you to slow down time for pinpoint accuracy and bullet dodging), from the original game has made a return, although its presence is less important here and you’ll often find yourself forgetting you have the ability at all. For those times you do remember to use it, it can be a very useful tool in getting Jack out of difficult situations. More often than not though, these problematic scenarios are created by the in-game camera suddenly having a mind of its own during the most inappropriate of moments; usually during a hectic gun battle or fist fight where Jack finds himself drastically outnumbered.


As in the original game you can command Jack’s four legged friend, Shadow, to attack enemies and bring you extra ammo and weaponry thus evening the odds when you’re up against numerous foes. If things get a little hot you can also command Shadow to take cover, but should he be put down by a hail of bullets a quick comforting pat on the back is all that’s required to get him up and running again. Surprisingly it’s during your time controlling Shadow that the game shines that little bit brighter and provides a welcome break from the endless slaughter. Like his master he also has his own gory repertoire of moves in which to takedown the enemy while at the same time proving to have a lot more guile and cunning. Shadow can sneak around on his belly, his heightened senses picking out individual heartbeats allowing him to sneak by the enemy undetected or unleash a fatal stealth attack, after which he can hide the body by dragging it to a secluded corner. Also, like Solid Snake tapping a wall to attract his enemies thus luring them into a trap, Shadow can give a low bark with which to attract guards before leaping upon them from out of the darkness, quickly taking them down with deadly efficiency. Not only do these elements break up the repetitive gameplay of moving from one stronghold to the next they offer far more sense of fulfilment; a shame then that these moments in which you take control of Jack’s K-9 companion are few and far between and very short lived.

Dead to Rights: Retribution isn’t a terrible game by any stretch of the imagination and when it works it does provide a modicum of entertainment. Snapping out from behind cover to take out several foes in one go as Focus mode kicks in can be very satisfying and, as already mentioned, those few missions where you take control of Shadow break up the pace nicely. Unfortunately the bulk of Volatile Games action adventure is marred by poor design choices and annoying glitches that threaten to break the gameplay at every turn. With so many other titles of this ilk offering a far tighter, more intelligent experience it’s difficult to recommend this latest offering as worthy of a full price purchase. One for the bargain basket.


5/10

Tuesday, 4 May 2010

Robert Duncan's Winning 40k Force

Rob Duncan, a good friend of mine, recently won joint first in mini's competition at a tournament at his local Games Night and I thought it would be nice to show off his work here. Good job, buddy. Much respect.



Monday, 3 May 2010

A Few Facts About Gordon Brown

Okay, I've done well to pretty much avoid pollitics in my new blog, but with a general election just around the corner I thought I'd stick my boot one last time into a party I once trusted and feel utterly betrayed by:

Enjoy...

We used to have 6 independent regulators to regulate the different divisions of the financial services industry, including our Banks. (Margaret Thatcher knew what the Banks were like and in the 1988 Finance Act she bound the Banks up in regulation to prevent them from being reckless. That's right, a bloody Tory bound the banks up, who'd of thunk it! )

Then Gordon Brown became Chancellor on 6th May 1997

Gordon's banker friends said "We want all these regulators to go. We don't want regulators watching everything we do"

AND GORDON SAID OK

So, Gordon announced on the 20th May 1997 (2 weeks after becoming Chancellor) that the six regulatory bodies would be broken up and a new Financial Services Authority would replace them. The FSA had virtually no powers over the Banks and he also took away the powers from the Bank of England to enforce regulation on them. The result is the devastation we are all suffering today.

We used to have a Monopolies and Mergers Commission

Then Gordon's banker friends said we don't want the Monopolies and Mergers commission telling us who we can and can't "Take Over"

AND GORDON SAID OK

So, in 1998 Gordon scrapped the Monopolies and Mergers Commission and created a replacement called the Competition Commission, with very much reduced powers and different ideas of what used to be regarded as a "Monopoly". The result is the Massive Corporations we have today who are ruling and shaping our lives for their own benefit and profits. Not to mention the massive Monopolies held by some of these corporations through the forced purchases of all their competitors.

We used to have pension regulations, which for many decades had included something called "The Pensions Cap" The pensions cap set a limit on how much pension any scheme member (including directors) could get from an occupational pension scheme, irrespective of how high their earnings were.

It was there to protect the ordinary members pensions to prevent Directors paying themselves obscene salaries and then draining the pension funds with huge pensions.

Then Gordon Brown's banker friends said that they wanted the pensions cap removing so that they could get
pensions related to their obscene earnings. (The whole Pensions industry gave him warnings of the effects it would have. Even the Inland revenue put forward objections)


BUT GORDON SAID OK

Because Gordon never likes to disappoint his banker friends

So Gordon took away the Pensions Cap in 2005 and then some of his friends were able to leave their boardroom positions with huge pensions.

For example:

Fred Goodwin was apparently entitled to a pension of over £700,000. If Gordon had left the pensions cap in place that would have been a mere £125,000.

The Superannuations Division of the Inland Revenue have kept a record of what it should be, in readiness for
when we get a new chancellor who sees fit to re-instate it. George Osborn has pledged to do that. The record of Pensions Cap limits are available to view on the Revenue's website. The result of this is that along with Gordon's "Tax Raid" on pension funds starting July 1997, over four thousand UK company pension scheme's have closed their doors to new members and many of them have had to close down altogether, leaving millions of workers without any pension provision.

This man Gordon Brown professes to be a socialist and "for" the working man.

The working man's main form of long term financial security had for many years been his company pension scheme, something to look forward to at the end of a life of hard work, his reward, light at the end of a long dark tunnel. Gordon has put an end to that by destroying the most valuable asset of the average British worker.

  • IT IS ONE OF THE GREATEST TRAVESTIES OF JUSTICE THAT THIS MAN WHO PRETENDS TO BE "FOR THE WORKING MAN" HAS IN FACT BEEN HIS WORST ENEMY FOR THE LAST THIRTEEN YEARS AND WILL LEAVE A LEGACY THAT WE WILL STILL BE CLEARING UP FOR MANY YEARS TO COME.

  • THE REAL INJUSTICE IS THAT ITS ALL BEEN DONE IN AREAS WHICH ARE TOTALLY OUT OF SIGHT TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC AND BEYOND THE UNDERSTANDING OF MANY.

  • GORDON RELIES ENTIRELY ON PEOPLES' IGNORANCE TO GET AWAY WITH HIS INDISCRETIONS.

  • GORDON'S MOTTO OF: "DENY EVERYTHING AND ADMIT NOTHING" SEEMS TO BE WORKING QUITE WELL FOR HIM SO FAR.

Lastly, what Gordon likes to call the "Global Banking Crisis". Have you noticed that we were the first to be in it and are the last to be out? (And whether we are out is very speculative!!!)

As he has openly admitted, The Royal Bank of Scotland was the worlds biggest bank. So when RBS and HBOS were about to go BUST in October 2008 they had to be bailed out overnight so they did not take the entire countr down with them. (That by the way was almost certainly a decision made by the hierarchy in Whitehall for which Gordon loves to take the credit)

As the worlds leading banks now all lend money to each other on a colossal scale, isn't it obvious that the worlds' biggest bank going down would have a devastating effect on all the others it dealt with?

This "worlds biggest bank" had also sold bad mortgage books to other banks - and bought dodgy loans from USBanks. Most of the Banks in Europe which ran into crisis were dragged into it because of the crooked dealings of our big Banks. A fact that both Germany and France were quick to remind Gordon Brown of at the G20 emergency meeting shortly after the crisis.

There are many other indiscretions, far too many to list here, but perhaps the few biggie's shown above will give some insight into how Gordon operates. (Plus of course he sold off our Gold reserves at give-away prices against advice from many who knew far better - we could do with those reserves now !)

By the way - have you noticed how he has suddenly become interested in Social issues now an election is looming? He seems to be able to promise the world when, as Alistair Darling put it a few days ago, there is not a penny left in the bank !

Think very carefully before casting your vote for this man who is probably the most extreme capitalist of the past century while pretending to be "for the working man"